Link to all writings: [here]

NEW:You are the happiness I seek | Gen | Destiel
[link here]
Previous: Made from Italy | Gen | Cockles
[link here]
F I C - R E C s
All fic rec at navi

New: Destiel!PT. 2 ft. KINKS
[ link here ]
Previous: Destiel!Canon/Universe Alteration Pt.2
[ link here ]
[x] / [x]

"You and me against the world!"

John’s smile broke whatever argument he was warming up to. It was the smile he kept in a box, buried somewhere outside of his mind palace. A hunting memory that kept his sane for the last year fade each day. A reminder that maybe, just maybe what he did wasn’t worth it.

It’s a year since he last saw it across the doctor’s face but he could still feel it mocking him. A year since John moved on. No more flowers, no more drunken visits, no more accusations.

No more of John’s things at Baker Street

A year since John decided he couldn’t bear his hope die everyday waiting for that miracle, wishing for that miracle… begging for that one more miracle.

A year since John whispered goodbye with that same broken smile playing across his lips when the only answer he got is Sherlock’s black marble of shame staring back at him. Sherlock was there, he always was.

He was there when John was fired, with a bottle of cheap beer in hand. He was there beside John when John’s eyes felt heavy from crying that he ended up sleeping besides the stone, cradling it limply like it’s something fragile. He was there when John felt creative with his curses. He was also there when John blamed him for everything.

He was there when John silently said his I love you.

Sherlock was there whispering his first to the dark

Three years ago, Sherlock Holmes faked his death but John Watson did not. The detective came to life but the army doctor didn’t. He was dead inside that even adrenaline can’t fix it.

20 7月 14 · 2 · reblog · Tags

It’s simple. Freedom is a length of rope God wants you to hang yourself with.

14 7月 14 · via · credit · 15748 · reblog




this is the best video in the entire planet it made me happy when i was crying and sad

14 7月 14 · via · credit · 102551 · reblog


Destiel Parallels - 4x10 // 5x03 

This is just a quick reminder that at one point, Dean used his self-proclaimed ‘best line' on Cas.

14 7月 14 · via · credit · 13725 · reblog


Let’s play a game called “I’m totally joking, but would do that in a heartbeat if you were into it”

14 7月 14 · via · credit · 924422 · reblog
14 7月 14 · via · credit · 4615 · reblog
14 7月 14 · via · credit · 10318 · reblog




Metatron: Well played Castiel.
Obviously, you and Gadreel managed to turn a few dead-enders against me.
Castiel: Gadreel is dead.
Metatron: Ahh, so Gadreel bites the dust…and the angel tablet, arguably the most powerful instrument in the history of the universe is in pieces and for what again?
Oh! That’s right. 
To save Dean Winchester.
That was your goal right? I mean you draped yourself in the flag of Heaven but ultimately it was all about saving one human, right?
Well guess what?
He’s dead too.
Blah, blah, Cas is in his chair and Metatron forgets about the infamous everyone can actually hear your bad guy speech trick but so did I and I feel like since angel radio was a big deal and mentioned over and over again all season that I should have caught on. The folly of the metaist who mocks things that so are so obvious a casual viewer could see it, am I right?
However, the real reason I wanted to bring up this conversation is because codytable pointed out to me how similar it is to another conversation between an “all knowing” big bad and one of our heroes.
Naomi: Kids. So cute when they’re little, then they turn into teenagers and the party’s over.

We haven’t been formally introduced Dean. My name is Naomi.
Dean: Oh, I know who you are. And I know what you did to Cas after he got out of Purgatory.
Naomi: After I rescued him from Purgatory you mean. At the cost of many angels’ lives.
Dean: You screwed with his head and had him spy on us.
Naomi: Well, it is true that I have spoken with Castiel many times trying to reach out to him, trying to help him…Dean. You must have noticed how Purgatory changed him? I mean, he’s been unstable in the past but I was shocked at how damaged he is now.
Dean: Stop it okay? Don’t try to spin this. You think I don’t know you told him to try and kill me? 
Naomi: *sighs* Yes, I suppose that is how he would hear it. When I learned of the angel tablet, I did tell Castiel to get it at any cost. It’s my job. To protect Heaven. I’m a warrior just as you are. What would you expect? 
And now! Castiel is in the wind with a hydrogen bomb in his pocket and I-I’m scared. For all of us.
Dean: Save it. See, I don’t trust angels. Which means I don’t trust you.
Naomi: And yet you haven’t warded this place against us…
I know. You’re hoping Castiel will return to you.
I admire your loyalty, I only wish he felt the same way.
I know you don’t want to believe it Dean but we’re on the same side.
Shutting the gates of Hell, bringing Castiel in from the cold.
Take a moment. Think about what I’ve said.
Naomi goes on to then threaten Dean with the prospect of Sam being in some kind of doom after trying to get him to think of her as a motherly saint just trying to keep her angel brethren, Cas included, safe and sane had failed. 
I think the biggest difference between Naomi and Metatron is that Naomi isn’t a narcissist who couldn’t deal with the fact that no one knew how important they were to the big man upstairs. She’s a better storyteller, she’s a better baddie, and is the classic character that Metatron wants to be because she rides that grey area of fighting for the benefit of her kind. By the end, I was unsure of where Naomi really stood, if she could have reformed or had just been like all of those lost angels we’ve seen before or if her manipulation skills extended so far that she even had the audience questioning her. Metatron tried the whole mysterious, “I have a plan, don’t you worry it’s a masterpiece,” thing but he was far too proud to actually get the job done. Meanwhile, Naomi has been breaking into Cas’ mind and the minds of other angels for who knows how long and the only reason we knew about her was because Cas destroyed any order Heaven had. Someone had to create some order right? Again, grey area of awesome ethical dilemma. 
My main point, aside from Naomi being a way better baddie than Metatron, is that both of them tried to manipulate Dean and Cas, and/or emotionally crush them, using the other. Naomi took the “your love is unrequited” route after several attempts to convince Dean that Cas is too unstable to trust and Metatron took the “I killed your love interest” route to just cause sadness and trauma I think. It’s amazing. Both season eight and season nine end with “subtext” implying that Dean and Cas feel something more than friendship for one another but the leap has yet to be taken. 
I’ve suffered through two seasons, let’s say three because holy fuck season seven, of romantic trope bullshit with these two. How much longer are they going to keep “accidentally” writing an inherently romantic plotline every time Dean and Cas reunite? The fact they gotta reunite not even every season but multiple times a season proves that they are inherently romantic. Dean and Sam just hug after Dean got back from Purgatory but Cas, nah it’s gotta look like he’s hallucinating Cas by the side of the road, outside his window, and in the bathroom mir-oh wait that’s actually Cas this time, enter dramatic music of platonic buddies. They also spend an entire episode getting to each other in season eight, you follow Dean and you follow Cas and they meet by the end of the episode and it’s all very dramatic when Dean stops the Impala right in front of Cas in the middle of the road. So platonic and full of friendship, the rain coming down on both of them as Dean all but jumps out of the driver’s seat to get to Cas. Next episode, Dean gives him the cold shoulder because despite his worry, he’s still mad as hell Cas left after he said the words. Then in season nine, Dean finds human!Cas dead and his world is almost destroyed if not for Gadreel, which brings up the point of why would Gadreel bother bringing Cas back to life if he wasn’t aware of how vital he is to Dean’s happiness and later cooperation. It ends up being Cas’ world that is destroyed instead in the end though. Like fuck. What’s a guy gotta do to get some gratification around here? 
I just keep chanting to myself, love, heartbreak, and…love,” and read more fanfiction.

Unfortunately IMO the writers don’t have the courage and/or inclination to follow through with their own story arc.

They are happy to use and demean their audience and then humiliate them by saying that we’re crazy.

I love Dean/Cas but fuck spn for using us like this.

I’m still going to watch it because there will always be a naive part of me that still has hopes and dreams that they’ll get the courage to do Destiel.

Another, less naive part, acknowledges that the more they try to avoid Destiel, the worse their show gets. I’m not talking about people quitting the show either, I’m talking about dragging on storylines, throwing in random shit to distract characters, and characters plain making ooc decisions. Looking at you season nine. They’ll write anything to keep them separate but with on screen mentions of one another! In season eight it was beautiful, it just hurt them this past season. 

The last part of me is a cynical asshole that played a major part in that last paragraph. I would be thrilled to be surprised but I’m expecting to be disappointed.

UGh, real quick there’s a fourth part of me that’s like “THEY DON”T WANNA BE LOST! DON”T TURN INTO LOST SPN!”. If you have not seen Lost, I recommend it. Every tv person needs to experience it.

12 7月 14 · via · credit · 301 · reblog

Dean can’t help the moan that escapes his lips when Cas sucks his brains out of his dick while he fingers his self open.

He’s laying on his back with Cas pressed on top of him, ass hovering at Dean’s face. Dean can see it, how those pale fingers thrust in and out pulling the innerwalls slightly of Cas pink hole for view and he can’t help it, his dick twitches making Cas moan, his voice trembling around Dean’s hard shaft. Not long after Cas snaked the fourth digit inside his hole, he can feel his orgasm close so he braced his upper body with his elbow to lap slowly at Cas’ ass while the younger man work his fingers towards his prostate. The feel of Dean’s tongue thrusting with his finger was too much and soon cas was cumming all over Dean’s abdomen as he keeps bobbing his head earnestly bringing dean to his own completion.


When the post coital bliss pass them they lay cuddled in Dean’s large bed. They never do, but tonight John was with his engineering friends while his best friend’s busy getting fucked by his dad, John doesn’t know and Dean doesn’t plan on telling his son that he’s been boning his best friend for a year now.

Dean’s forty one, though for him is a number big enough to start thinking of death, he looks nothing like his age. He’s fit and beautiful, always was and always will. But Cas is eighteen and lately, he can’t help the guilt choke him when he looks at his own son just barely eighteen himself, talking about cheerleaders older than him by two years and not thirteen, when John talks about having dinner with his girlfriend’s parents and not having dinner with one of the parents, when he thinks about how John would react if he finds out. And the sick feeling keeps growing when Dean realizes he doesn’t want this to end. He’s falling too damn deep and he’s so fucking afraid it’ll be too late.

He’s happy despite it, and that makes it worse.

He can’t bring himself to think of not having Cas around him, sexually or not. He can’t imagine not having Cas pliant above or below him, not having those thighs wrapped around his waist, or those lithe hands around his neck. Not feeling that lean chest pressed against his and how those blue eyes look at him softly, warmly, and beautifully. And now that he knows the way Cas snuggles further to him, how Cas’ thigh is slung over his, how warm and fitting the younger boy is in his bed - A bed for lovers that’s been empty for far too long - how cas belongs in his arms, he doesn’t want it to stop.

Its far too much.

And he knows he needs to end it because its no longer only about sex.

29 6月 14 · 3 · reblog · Tags

Swiggity swag you hAVE A SMALL COCK

Dean and sam goes home to a very human castiel and when they get to the bunker cas gives sam a full on hug while dean gets an awkward one arm hug cuz cas isnt sure if he can let go if he did and dean gets crazy jealous of sam and tries to shrug it off only to get moody and shit cuz he wants those hugs too and god damnit he’ll get those hug even if it means caging cas on the kitchen counter or pin him against the fridge

23 6月 14 · 1 · reblog · Tags

Couple shirt with a “I need you, capiche?” And the other shirt goes “yeah I capiche”

23 6月 14 · 15 · reblog · Tags

When cas saved dean from hell ot was because the man doesnt belong in the pit. But now cas couldnt save dean from belonging in there.

Cas saved Dean from hell believing that the man doesnt belong in the pit but now Cas couldnt save Dean from belonging there.

In a different perspective supernatural is a story about how an angel fell in every way imaginable to save a human but in the end the angel couldnt save the man from becoming the one thing that he tried keeping away from his brother, the one thing that made him suffer 40 years in hell, the one thing that killed everyone he loved, and the one thing that started this whole shebang.

And in the end he became what angel call enemy, a demon.

22 6月 14 · 7 · reblog · Tags